His face jumped out at me off the box

This man they had chased, ‘The armed offender’

In one split second I recognised that ugly mug

And it didn’t surprise me one iota that he’d surrender

For I had known him as a young lad you see

And even then he’d been guilty of fanannywhacking

Along with many other schoolyard crimes

Until the headmaster had enough and sent him packing

He was the type that borrowed the clever kids work

Even though veggie maths was the extent of his guile

And though no one ever had the courage to say

The smell of this rotten boy was really quite vile

The seedy life with its roots in kickastickalong

Who would have known just where they’d lead

A man so cruel he’d stomp on every nammiecackle

And blow wind up the behind of an honest stead

A lazy kid who now looked every bit the salad dodger,

Made you wonder how he could ever be on the run

And I sat stunned as I listened to the newsreader’s drone

As he rattled off all the things the bastard had done

My blood boiled and I gave him the onkaparinga

Although aimed at the telly it did seem kinda’ rank

But a smile creased my dial as the footage showed

His head being slammed into the side of the wankertank

If someone had asked me where he had gone

“Up ya mum’s teapot.” Would have been my reply

For after they had chased him out of the eighth grade

I was the first, with much bravado, to wave him goodbye

But now they have caught him and locked him away

‘tis a chance for me to stand up in court and be the plaintiff

Providing of course I don’t have to get too close

© Bernard J Rossi